Mariska Hargitay's Massive Jaw
I don't know what it is about Mariska Hargitay's massive jaw and huge head that rub me the wrong way. It's like my heart is telling me that Hargitay is just a lady with a huge face, but my brain is sounding the alarm that what I'm looking at is actually a big, brawny man. When my brain and heart send me mixed signals like that I get a sort of motion sickness, like an astronaut floating in orbit. Mariska Hargitay makes me queasy.
And yet, I can't stop staring at her. Hargitay's big face gives her a look of perpetual constipation. On her tv show CSI SVU, she wears big shoulder pads that make her look like a linebacker but I can never understand the story because whenever Hargitay's thick face shows up, I tune everything out and just stare. I'm 99% sure she's a woman, but that last 1% of me still believes that the CSI SVU series finale will end with her ripping her wig off and telling us that she was a man all along.