Carly Simon's Big Teeth

What Carly Simon lacks in talent she makes up for with her enormous teeth and jaw. As the daughter of the co-founder of book publisher Simon & Schuster, Carly Simon's big teeth are proof that even people without talent can make it in the music industry if they come from a rich and connected family. Being married to James Taylor helped too.

In the 1970s, America for some reason or another tricked itself into thinking that Carly Simon was attractive and that she made good music. Neither is true. Carly Simon's massive jaw and monstrous teeth were a thorn in the side of every music lover as she crowed away on supposed hits like You're So Vain and the even more atrocious Mockingbird. If you haven't heard these, just trust me when I say they're bad. And don't get sucked in by those Songs of the Seventies infomercials showing cool Carly in a floppy hat and sundress. It's all a trick!
For Celebrity Bite purists out there, I had a dickens of a time trying to figure out the best category for Carly Simon. She's about 50% overbite, plus 100% massive jaw and 100% bear trap. I decided to toss her in here with the other traps.
Carly Simon's big teeth and jaw
Carly Simon's big teeth and jaw are prettier than her music